Mara A. Cohen. Jewrotica. 2015. Original URL: http://jewrotica.org/2015/04/at-this-i-draw-the-line/
This is as far as I’m willing to go:
I will call the butcher to order the chicken.
Four pounds, innards removed, tressed.
I will go to the market to buy the chicken.
Also a bag of those little potatoes.
And a shallot.
I will defrost that loaf of challah taking up space in the freezer.
I will roast the chicken and set the table.
I will set out the candles and the book of matches.
I set at your place the silver kiddush cup you used at our wedding.
I will not set at your place the ancient yarmulke you refuse to wash.
I will put it on the arm of your chair instead.
I will wait patiently while our daughter strikes the match but it fails to light.
I will wait patiently while our daughter strikes the match and it breaks.
I will wait patiently while she strikes the match and lights first one candle and then the other.
I will lose my patience when the flame on the first candle flickers and dies.
I will cover my eyes and recite the blessings.
I will ask if you are enjoying the chicken.
I will thank you for clearing the table and helping to load the dishwasher.
But at this I draw the line:
I will not sit on the couch in the living room while you read me the Torah.
I am going to bed now.
Because it’s time to f-ck.